Introduction: (from the world's worst beginner) When I got out of college, my brother offered to teach me golf, so he took me to a driving range. While he was hitting them over the fence, I could barely get them off the tee. Worse still, I was working really hard, and went home aching all over. End of golf for a while. A few years later, on my first big international business trip, I was invited to play golf after work. It wasn’t bad. I actually only lost a few balls and eventually made most of the holes. Only later did I realize that was just a simple all par 3 little course with only 9 holes! When I played a real course, disaster. I had to cheat and make excuses just to try to keep up with some other very raw amateurs. Many years later I still hankered to go out and hit a ball. Preferably a little white one with the ease with which I saw the pros do it on TV. After a business trade show, I was pleased to go with the company execs and some key clients to play a round at a real golf course. Nothing I did worked. I zigzagged from creek to trees and back again. I had all these fancy rented clubs and none of them were any help, not that I knew which one to use at any time. Eventually I got left behind. So far behind that the sun set and I had to drag my tail home to the clubhouse in the dark. Never even tried the last few holes at all. And my arms and back hurt the next day too. Another ten or so years later, we sent my younger son to kid’s golf lessons to keep him busy in summer. Being a quick study, he came home and told me everything they had told him each day. I listened carefully to see if he had made it all up. But no, it sounded very logical. So when he went back to school, I sneaked down to the golf course myself and signed up for some group lessons through the city program. Six weeks later, I could actually hits some irons and I had learned some proper chipping and putting. Occasionally we got together and went to the little nearby 9 hole course, mostly all par 3s. I had a lot of fun playing with people who were similar to me. We averaged 6 or 7 or more strokes on each hole, and only cheated a little. But we never used a driver or a wood. The “big sticks” were beyond us. And then five years later I had some time on my hands. And I watched a lot of the Golf Channel and read Golf Digest and other magazines, and bought a little better set of clubs, and joined some swing group lessons. And found some patient friends who would let me join their foursome - when they had no one else! And I went down to the driving range a lot. And I thought I was making progress. Then I
got invited to play on some real courses…. And made a fool of myself often. But
at least I didn’t embarrass them all the way. And when I screwed up, I quickly got out of their way.
Someone asked me if I realized I was only playing golf with my arms and not my
body, and it took me weeks to figure that simple pointer out. When I
concentrate, I do know the shots, I do know the clubs to use, I do know the
concepts, I do know how to read a green, I do know how to get out of a bunker,
and I do know good golf etiquette. And I actually learned some really good
tricks from watching golf tutorials or events, though these also point up how
inadequate I am at the same time. But now
when I go to the golf driving range, or back to the simple shorter courses, I
meet a lot of would-be golfers who are worse than me. And I am sorry they
haven’t learned the basics and now I know why friends used to tell me to take
lessons. But
there are still a lot of others out there who are thinking of golf, are
challenged to try golf, or feel they need golf for business reasons. People who
have not even tried it, or don’t have time for proper lessons. People who don’t
really know that a golf ball can go up when you hit down on it. People who will
make a complete idiot of themselves at the company sales meeting. It is
for these people this little book is intended. Hopefully it will help you even
if you just read it on the airplane at the last minute as you head to your
conference or reunion. It took me 25 years on and off, but now I am no longer
the current world’s worst beginner. But I think I was. And I hope by reading
this booklet you absorb some simple things that everyone tells you about swing
and strokes, as well as the little things you otherwise learn by osmosis over
time if your father was not a golfer. You
have my fullest empathy as you try to learn this game. But there is a reason we
all keep coming back: That beautiful feeling of accomplishment when a stroke
works, or even a full collection of strokes, as you enjoy a few hours of fresh
air and gentle exercise in a beautiful garden park setting. So here
we have it: Emergency Golf A crib sheet so
you don’t embarrass yourself
The guide to
surviving your first rounds of golf, – by the world’s (former)
worst beginner! | 
Then you might just have a golf emergency!
Golf is complicated. There is a lot going on and your head is spinning when you first go to a golf course. The goal of this book is just to control that head spin, and maybe give you a small edge in your first rounds of golf. But really, it is mostly to help you not make too much of a fool of yourself, so you do get invited back when you have had time to take lessons and practice. Golf is a beautiful, healthy, outdoor sport, but you have to survive your first few rounds. And if those are coming up very quickly, dealing with it may be critical. That is why this book is called Emergency Golf. Deal with the strange equipment and terminology of golf via a quick read before your knees are shaking on the first tee. Don't read this book if you already know how to play golf or have started lessons! There are lots of others for you once you speak golf lingo and at least act like you know what you are doing.
How to do it. By people who have
done it. Download your copy today and read it on the way to the conference.    Learn how the ball goes up without you scooping it.  Learn the trick to getting out of a bunker |
